So recently, energy-apologists reached a new low when Rick Perry said that continued use of fossil fuels may be key in stopping sexual assault. Presumably he’s not talking about using them to light the rapists on fire. But still, fossil fuels key in stopping sexual assault? I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure that windowless white vans aren’t running on solar power.

Probably a few more directions that the joke premise could go in. I figured it’d be enough to have two.