Today I learned two things… First, I’ve learned that the largest crocodile ever measured was 20 feet 3 inches long. For frame of reference, that’s two Shaquille O’Neals and a John Stockton.

Second, I’ve learned that animal facts are friggin’ terrifying.

This totally feels like one of those times that an actual swear word would work, especially since the joke starts out innocently enough as informational. I also think that this may be better off read than spoken, which sucks, because I’m trying to build material that works in a standup environment.

In any case, one month down.